My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize