You're completely useless in the revolution.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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