the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
