You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I just want to make out with him forever
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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