Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
