is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
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