just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm gonna fight the coyote
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
