Kiss
Puke
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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