they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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