I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
