Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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