Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
