You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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