So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
