I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
