there's paper in my vomit.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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