she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
