I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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