thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
