plz talk dirty to me
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
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