Barsexuality is the new black.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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