Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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