do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize