her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
