Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
