But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
