I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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