there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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