I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize