I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
