apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
