i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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