I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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