after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
