Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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