I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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