I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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