I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
