im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
