is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
