My hand turned me down
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
