So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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