i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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