you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
