I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Randomize
