Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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