All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
