So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
