All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
