how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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