Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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