It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize