just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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