You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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