Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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