I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
