Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
