none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
