I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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