Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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