After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
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