no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize