so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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